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Does “Talk through your problems” sound familiar? How about “Never go to bed mad at each other or you are running from the problem” or “Express your anger; repressed anger kills”?
Chances are you have answered yes and even use them in your relationships. However, there is one problem with these communications clichés: they are 60 years dated, have never been supported by science, and they don’t work!!! Even worse, they increase arguments! In fact, chronic use of them to resolve relationship conflict and communication will lead to diseased relationships as well as diseased bodies from all the stress they generate. At least, that is what the latest mind-body science is telling us.
That same science is telling us that if you want to communicate more effectively and resolve conflict, then you need to stop talking in order to communicate! Say what?? Yes, the latest science on how our minds work and the changes that occur to our bodies and brains when we get upset makes it very clear that the worse thing a person and couple can do is “talk it through” when they are upset.
I describe what the latest science has to say about resolving argument in my free webinar “Stop Your Fighting Tonight!” It can be seen here.
My “Five Steps Back To Love” communication approach integrates the latest mind-body science into an alternative communication approach that frequently works where current approaches fail. No more arguing in counseling sessions just like you do at home. If you are interested in a 21st-century approach to conflict resolution, please feel free to schedule an initial assessment by calling or filling out the contact form and pressing Send.